
There is a lot to be said for having meaningful direction in life. Despite the value this adds to our lives, most of us feel a little lost sometimes, with a high probability that many of us never had any idea about where we were going in the first place. Having goals and dreams is an important facet of being human, but we don't always have the choice to follow them, and sometimes they change without letting us know which may leave us confused (at best) and hopeless (at worst).
Despite popular belief, adding meaning to our lives is not a once off or automatic! In order to live meaningful lives, we have to consciously and sometimes with a bit of effort, decide what has meaning for us and then take the necessary action(s) around it. What makes it even harder is that no one comes with a manual because dreams and goals and the following of them are not a one-size-fits-all. This doesn't mean it can't be done though.
It simply means that in order to add meaning and direction to our life we need to get intentional!
There is not one big cosmic meaning for all; there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person. -Anais Nin
Everyone's dreams are worthy of their attention, and everyone needs some guidance from time to time.
If you are reading this then you are alive, but despite the commonality of reading this and being alive, no one's life will look the same. Every person comes from a life nurtured a certain way, having an individual nature, surrounded by certain people, carrying a certain set of values, and filled with actions and preferences which has all been brought about and formulated through a succession of choices and happenstance events. Any life could look vastly different if just one aspect of it had been changed.
But it is exactly as it is and here you are!
You matter and what matters to you matters, because this will be the story of your life. Only you can create a life that has meaning for YOU!
But it won't be easy. However, it will be rewarding.
But Where To Start?
The best way to start is by through clarity, and the best way to do this is usually with pen and paper. If you don't have the finances, know that you can get there without it, but if you do, a life coach or mentor can help you cut down the time it takes to wade through this point.
This first step is the most time consuming and confusing step. So much happens in a life! You may have forgotten what your dream/goal/vision was, it might have changed, you may have gotten side tracked and have no idea how to go about getting back on it, or you may need to find a new path altogether.
For the most part, living is quite a messy business, and even the goals and dreams we are clear on don't necessarily exist as the sole goalposts in our lives. We may want children but also want to travel, or want to travel but also want a career, or want a career but also want to write a book. Some of us even want all of these. Or do we really? Sometimes what we enjoy seeing and taking part in in the world around us gets confused with what we believe we should be doing, and when that happens we end up adding too many things to very particular sized lives. Sometimes one dream or goal happens before we were really ready for it or without use fully understanding what it entailed and how it would derail or change a whole bunch of other things we were once clear on.
Like I said: Life is messy!
All of these side quests are not a bad thing. Some will bring their own clarity on who we really are or what we truly value, and some will even add their own bits of joy to our life. From time to time all of these needs to be untangled though. We all need something that is the primary thing we aim for and that something needs to be specific because it will become the funnel through which all other life choices are made.
It is also important to note that a dream or a life's purpose is not so much about what you do, but more about what you impart. In other words, you may want to be a healer, but being a healer doesn't need to look like a becoming a doctor: you could be a nurse, a psychologist, or a councillor. See if you can trace the job you dreamed of having as a kid back to its root!
Ask yourself the following questions:
What did I want to do at a time in my life when I believed I could do anything?
What values and principles do I hold now?
If money and time and other people weren't a factor, what do I see myself doing? What feeling does that create? Is there any other thing that I could do that would create this feeling/life/service for others?
Once you have sat down with yourself and untangled dreams that were from dreams that are from mini-dreams and other things, you will should have a clearer starting point. The next steps would entail figuring out what skills you need to acquire, what support you need, and then create a step by step action model in which you make the smallest steps possible to a timeline.
Things To Take Note Of
Perfect timing is a myth
Whether age or finances or time, there will always be something standing in your way. Some of these may even be valid reasons, but even valid reasons don't necessarily mean never; they may just mean not now, or they may mean you will need to take smaller steps. You won't really know this until you are 100% clear on what you do want and what is standing in your way.
There will be obstacles
Just because you decide to follow your dream doesn't mean the world will suddenly start to revolve around it and you. The only thing that happens is that you know which choices you need to make and why it matters to you. Being clear on the fact that it will be hard sometimes will make it less surprising when it does. If you make a list of the most likely culprits to derail you, you may even be able to adjust quicker when it does. We don't have fire escape plans because we want a fire; we have them so that we can move and adjust quicker when it is necessary.
Your vision, dreams and goals are your responsibility
This is your life, and the reason you want it to have a purpose and meaning is because you don't want to live anyone else's. This means that you need to be your own biggest cheerleader, the one to take action, and the one to let others know what you are doing and how they can help you.
It also means that if you decide not to chase them, you can't put the burden on someone else to do so.
Recap and Suggestions
Life is precious and messy. We each add our own version of meaning to it through the goals we envision, the dreams we follow, and the calls we decide to heed.
In order to follow or even choose your path, you need to untangle it from what has come before, what has changed, or what you once believed but no longer do. Once you have clarified this and thrown your values and principle into the mix, your path will feel a little clearer but this does not mean it will be easy.
Humans thrive on connection, so don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, or to seek out mentorship. Also don't be afraid to change direction if life throws you a curveball, but don't think that quitting one thing will make another easier.
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