If the past few years have taught us anything it is that we need to take care of ourselves, but for most of us this seems like a skillset we never quite master, never have time for, or never get to work like it should. Being human is a strange balance of things:
yes, we need community and we need to take care of each other
but also yes, we are each our own responsibility
and also yes, we cannot take care of others if we are run down ourselves
but also each of us will at some point be unable to take care of others or ourselves
What all of that means is that we need to make sure that we take care of ourselves when we are able and to the best of our abilities while also not being afraid (ashamed) to delegate or ask for help. Life comes with no guarantees or promises and all we can do is make sure that we do our bit to ensure that our cup is full so that we can assist others to fill theirs when they struggle and hopefully build a circle of cup-fillers around us.
Will we always be able to manage this? No.
Again, life has no guarantees, but by committing to take care of ourselves we focus our energy, and when we focus our energy it is most likely to go there. In addition, if we are doing well our ability to be there for others increases as well.
This is about building a circle around yourself instead of a hierarchy.
What Is Self-Care And What Does It Look Like?
In recent years and peppered by social media, the idea of self care has become tied to things like pampering yourself with bubble baths and facials or going on shopping sprees or vacation, and while there may definitely be times when those are necessary, it is a lot more than that too.
In truth, there are different levels and areas that self-care should take place in.
Areas of Self-Care
Your mind, body, and spirit require different self-care methods. The first step towards effective and efficient self-care is knowing which area is unbalanced or requires your assistance.
your mind may need to be challenged or rest after being challenged
your body may need to move or to rest after moving
your spirit may need to be inspired or replenished
Not knowing which area needs your attention is the very reason why copious amounts of bubble baths or continuous retreats may still leave you feeling stressed and drained.
Levels of Self-Care
Once you know which area needs your attention, the next thing you need to know is what level of self-care is required, because self-care takes place on a spectrum.
Daily self-care should be built into your routine, and these are usually little practices that don't require a lot of time and usually have a set time while also being used in a stressful situation. These practices are easily incorporated without any additional funds and very little preparation other than working around kids or knowing when you are free (although they can usually also be done in the time of a bathroom break). Think of things like exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, supplements, etc.
Next there are the bigger maintenance kind of self-care practices that include facials and doctors appointments. These fall outside of our general routine, usually require preparation, and will most probably incur additional expenses, although it can also just be an extended chat with a friend or a check in with a partner to either offload or clarify things.
Lastly there are the long-term intense self-care events. This may be a holiday, but it could also be spring cleaning or decluttering, or studying. It usually involves the need for a big reset after a lengthy stressful period, and requires more preparation, time and money. These don't happen often, with once a year being the average.
It is important to know that no amount of intense self-care events is going to help you if you aren't regularly partaking in the other levels as well. They may leave you feeling momentarily rejuvenated, but it won't be sustainable and pretty soon you will feel just as drained as before.
Recap And Suggestions
Self-care is a variety of things and it depends on our specific needs and time in the moment. It boils down to any action that is necessary to honour the needs of your body, mind or spirit and it may look like
a 2 minute breather
a 5 minute stretch at your desk
twenty minute walk over lunch
water when you're thirsty
bathroom breaks when your body says it's time to go
tidying up your work space before you leave the office
choosing an affirmation to wake you in the morning
having an activity/hobby that takes you away from your work and duty-bound life
going to the doctor or dentist instead of putting it off
asking for help or delegating your to-do's
going on holiday or, ideally, a retreat
signing up for additional education and studies
and of course, it may also look like a facial or reflexology
As you take care of one area, know that it may require you to adjust into another area (if you decide to learn a new skill, you may need to adjust your daily exercise routine and find a new creative outlet to balance things out).
The best way to ensure that you keep this up is to have a short list of things that fill your cup in the various ways that you may need it, making sure that you adjust it when your life adjusts, so that when you need it most or have the time you know exactly what to do in order to take care of yourself.
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